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Craig Crankston
Craig Crankston is a contestant from Finale: Yukon. Ranging from snappy to relaxed, he was remembered for being somewhat self-centered, and a satirical showmance with Misery. This showmance didn't last long, however, as Craig was voted out prematurely. Yukon In Just Fall Into His Sticky White Trap, Craig is the first person to introduce himself at the beginning of the episode. He tells the other contestants that he likes to party and is ''going to win. Misery greets flirtatiously, calling him "handsome." She tells him that contrary to his belief, she is not miserable, referring to her name. Craig immediately asks her if she is a female or not. Misery tells him that she is, and Craig asks her to "showmance him," beginning their hilariously undeveloped "romance." For the rest of the introductions, Craig rushes everyone along, constantly shouting "NEXT." When it comes time for Iggy Koopa to introduce himself, he begins, but Craig interrupts him, so he beats him with his staff. At the same time, Hello Bye is screaming at Craig to "fuck off," telling him that no one asked him to speak. Craig shouts in pain at the staff beating, and Iggy then farts on him. Despite being rude to Iggy, Craig appears to show sympathy for Pornulu, who tells everyone his story of just being released from rehab, with awful vision and hearing, an alcohol and drug obsession, and STD's, by nothing that Pornulu's story sucks. When the challenge finally begins, Craig tells Misery to give him immunity when she wins, saying it's strategy. Misery agrees. NeNe Leakes, however, is not fooled, and glances at Craig, then calls him a "lying bitch." Misery indeeds win the challenge, but does not give Craig her immunity, but does Reward him after. At first, Misery does not want to Reward anyone, and questions the host if she is required to. She is, however, and decides to Reward her "showmance," Craig, who had been pressuring her to do so. Craig recieves Immunity, making him immune with Misery. Confident, Craig tells the other players that they've been outplayed, despite him immunity only coming from luck and the decision of Misery. After the challenge, it is announced that the players will be staying in log cabins for the season, and Craig seems overjoyed. However, it turns out moments later that he is most excited for the logs themselves. The host tells the contestants to head to the cabin, and tosses the map to Craig. Craig announces that he has the map, though it is blantantly obvious to everyone else, and says that they have been outplayed. Moulin asks Craig if he can even read the map. Craig responds that he can't, but reassures them that they will get there eventually. Craig says that he wants to read it, but Moulin snatches the map away, but Iggy snatches it again, and eats it. Craig asks how they are going to get there at all now. The host, who is still there, hands Moulin a new map. At the elimination, Craig says "ew" when seeing that the dinner is frog legs. Suddenly, Craig announces to the other contestants that they cannot vote off Hello, saying that she has an idol. Craig seems reluctant in saying this, stuttering while trying to think of what to say. NeNe quickly objects, saying that ''she ''has the idol. Craig says Hello is trying to play them all. In reality, there is no idol. Craig gives up, telling everyone to just fall into Hello's "sticky white trap." He quickly assuring them that he was talking about a spiderweb, and calls them perverts for thinking otherwise. Later, while waiting for the votes to be sent, Craig informs Iggy that he wishes he could vote him out, and then asks Moulin for some gum. Moments later, Craig attempts to warn everyone that if they vote Hello, they are "doomed," still playing off the idea that Hello has an idol. Regardless of Craig's warnings, Hello is voted out. Craig seems frustrated by this, wondering how his plan could have failed. Craig then tells NeNe that he survived "the randomizer's wrath" this time around. It can be inferred that Craig had randomized his vote for NeNe. After Tammy wins the challenge in '''Not Having Immunity Is MISERABLE', she decides to Punish Misery. Craig immediately goes to his showmance's defense, signifying to Tammy that she crossed the line by repeating "Line=Crossed." He yells at her that Misery is his showmance, and calls her a bitch. Tammy responds confidently, telling Craig that if there was a line to begin with, she's glad she crossed it. Oddly, Misery does not support Craig, but compliments Tammy, telling her she's "fierce." When Tammy's Reward to Frank Johnson is a Reward Pass, Craig begs Frank to pass it to him. He passes it back to Tammy instead. At the elimination, Craig tells Iggy yet again that he wishes he could vote him out, but this time adds that his strategy won't allow him to. When asked if anyone on the cast is getting on the contestants' nerves, Iggy immediately shouts Frank and Craig. Craig, on the other hand, notes that "he can name a few," then expands this to "pretty much everyone here." He corrects himself, however, excluding Misery, saying she's hot. Tammy tells the host that she doesn't like liars, and doesn't like Craig, implying that she thinks Craig is a liar. Later, when the host is informed that Iggy has burned down the cabin, the host hands Moulin a map to a back-up cabin. Craig suspiciously questions the host having another cabin just lying around, saying he could have just purchased one fireproof one. Just before the dinners are passed out, Craig ironically shouts that he knows what is going to happen. When the votes come down to the bottom three, the host notes that all three have been "very controversial," one of them being Craig, though no one knows this yet. Misery objects that all the contestants are controversial, causing to Craig to ask if he is indeed controversial. It turns out Craig is eliminated, leaving him speechless. Surprisingly, Misery does not seem bothered by this, even making a joke out of it using her name. Tammy also seems happy to see Craig eliminated. Craig says that this is crap and leaves immediately. Before he goes, however, he tells the other contestants that he was a really good player. He also bitterly uses his Grand Finale to Punish Misery. Trivia